Veg out day – 25th January 2020

Saturday means the weekend which means pure laziness. We managed a few days this week with no TV but after getting up early all week and doing activities I just want to be lazy and lay on the sofa. And guess what, that’s what we did.

Bella had wanted to dress up this morning. First she wanted to be Cinderella but then she wamted to be Elsa. We quickly swapped costumes but not five minutes into being dressed as Elsa she wanted to dress up as Sleeping Beauty. I put a stop to this pretty quickly though. I was not spending my day swapping costumes. Thankfully she seemed to get the message and decided she was happy dressed as Elsa.

First I let Bella be in charge of the TV. She wanted Disney so I popped Disney Jr on as it means I don’t have to keep pressing enter for the next episode. The good news was Disney Jr was having a Doc McStuffin day. Bella was very happy.

While Bella was happily watching Doc McStuffin, I cuddled up on the sofa under my cosy blanket and enjoyed a cup of tea. While I was being all cosy I decided to have a look through Instagram. I’m trying to use my account more and I just love looking through everyone else’s photos. I mean I managed to find some very aesthetically pleasing accounts while I surfed, made me feel like I need to get my camera out again though. Shameless plug now please go check out my Instagram and you can keep up with what I’m doing in real time. I love to ask questions on my Instagram, feels more personal. Either check it out below or find me on Instagram – making_memoriesblog.

After a whole morning of Doc McStuffin, Bella went upstairs to play in her room. She obsessed with being up there at the moment, it’s like I’ve got a teenager. She likes heading upstairs and watching Barbie and the 3 Musketeers. It’s also nice to know she’s happy to entertain herself and to know the toys in her room are being played with.

As Bella was upstairs I decided it was mummy TV time. So I chilled out and watched Stargate SG1. I grew up watching this show and I was so excited when I found it on Amazon Prime. A perfect way to waste 45 minutes.

After a couple of episodes of Stargate I switched back to terrestrial TV to watch the Saturday night TV. I wanted to watch the Masked Singer but had to wait a bit. So while I was waiting I watched Catch Phrase. I love this show although I’m rubbish at it. Liam and I try to play along when we come across it and he is so much better than me. I mean I swear he got them all right tonight.

Just as Catch Phrase was coming to an end I popped in some pizzas for dinner and then we all settled down to watch the Masked Singer. I love the concept but I don’t like the fact I don’t know who is behind the mask singing. It actually makes the show really frustrating to watch.

A nice chilled out Saturday with probably a bit too much rubbish TV but sometimes you need days like that.

Anyways, night all and let’s see what adventures tomorrow holds for us.

Love CiCi x

Some Me Time and Some Us Time – 24th January 2020

Today is a me day but with a twist. Bella is off to her grandparents like normal. However she didn’t want to go, she wanted to stay at home and play so I told her she could take some of her toys with her. She also wanted to take her Cinderella dress. So I packed them all and put them to one side while we got ready.

As Daly was off he was coming with us, I was going into town to get my nails done and Bella was going to her Grandparents. Daly was going to drop Bella off and then come meet me in town and we were going to go for lunch. I had hoped to get out of the door by 10am but I was on a go slow morning. It always seems to be that way, so instead we ended up heading out at half 10. Bella wanted to wear her backpack so she headed out of the house to Daly wearing her little backpack while I made sure I had what I needed.

It turns out I hadn’t checked close enough, When Daly dropped me in town I headed round to the bank to get the cash out for my nails but my bank card wasn’t in my purse. Nope Daly had it. I messaged him to let him know and then wandered off to the nail salon to see if they had any space. Luckily they had space at half 11 so to kill the 30 minutes I had I took a walk around town.

Now recently I’ve been looking for a BB cream but it seems very few make up companies do them so I haven’t had much luck there. But I also needed a pressed powder as I prefer to use them for everyday use rather than a liquid foundation. Thankfully I managed to find one I liked. I bought that and then took a little wander up the town. I bought myself a drink and a snack and then checked my watch. I still had a couple of minutes to kill so I took a walk around the block. While I walked I sent Daly a text asking him to meet me at the nail salon at about half 12 and if he could bring the money for my nails with him.

Half 11 came round and I headed into the salon. Todays appointment went much better than last month. I managed to frustrate the poor guy who was doing my nails but that was completely my fault. I thought I’d got better at relaxing my fingers so they can shape the nail and file but today – nope. I swear my fingers had a mind of their own. I had to keep apologising to the poor bloke.

Daly came and joined me half way through having my nails done and stood with me chatting. I told him how much I was annoying the guy doing my nails. It was soon time to choose my colours and I chose a kinda baby blue and a glittery silver. Daly really liked a royal blue colour but I told him I was getting Cinderella blue for Bella. And boy did they suit Cinderella when finished.

Once my nails were done we headed off up the High Street to Wetherspoons. While we were walking up I received a message from my friend Morganne asking what I was upto. I told her we were heading for lunch and just as I got a message back off her asking where we were going she appeared in the High Street in front of us. It turns out she was heading the Spoons for lunch with a couple of friends.

We walked up together and headed into Spoons. It was pretty busy but we managed to find two tables right at the back. Daly and I sat down on one and then Morganne sat down on the table opposite us. Daly and I looked at the menu and then Daly headed to the bar to order. He always wants to change something on the menu so he has to go up to the bar to order. While he was at the bar I chatted with Morganne and Daly’s cousin Hannah. It was nice to have a catch up even if it was quite brief. Daly soon returned with our drinks and it was time for some us time.

We had a lovely lunch. Nice and chilled but also nice to have just some Daly and Claire time. We don’t get to have that often so it’s nice to make the most of it. The absolute bonus of our little trip out was I had originally planned on being the one to buy us lunch but Daly ended up paying. He even treated me to my nails which is something I would never ask him to pay for. We headed home for some more chill out time.

Now Daly was off to a disco tonight so he wasn’t at home with me for too long before he disappeared off. Liam had tried to clean my carpets while we were out but he had ended up running out of carpet shampoo so Daly and Liam headed off to see if they could find some.

After I head said goodbye to Daly and he headed off to his night of discoing I went and hid upstairs away from the washed carpets and climbed into bed. I decided to try and get some blogging done. I sat down and planned out when blogs were being written and any Instagram posts to go up. I’m trying to be organised to make sure I stay on top of things but I’m not sure it’s going to work.

Dawn and Grant dropped Bella home around 7.30pm and I had a very sleepy girl on my hands. Grandad had brought her in with her asleep on his shoulder. As it was close to her bed time I took her upstairs, popped her PJs on and snuggled her up in bed before returning to bed myself to crack on with blogs and catching up on a bit of TV.

It was nice to have some time just Daly and I and especially the fact he treated me. Wonder the next time we’ll get to do it.

Anyways, night all and let’s see what adventures tomorrow holds for us.

Love CiCi x

A Busy Thursday – 23rd January 2020

It’s Thursday which means ballet first thing in the morning. Nowe we have finally managed to get pretty good at waking up early in the morning. Bella and I were both up by 8.30am this morning. I surprisingly didn’t feel too bad either. Normally if I wake up early I feel awful. I have headaches and feel sick but this morning I actually felt pretty good.

Bella and I headed downstairs and had our breakfast. I’m trying hard to get into the habit of eating breakfast. The problem is eating when I first wake up makes me feel sick. So a little breakfast is at least a start towards breakfast. Once breakfast was out of the way, we got dressed and I packed her ballet bag. Even once we were dress and had breakfast we still had 10 minutes before we had to leave. Bella decided this was a perfect time to practice her dancing.

It was eventually time to leave so we gathered up Bella’s bag popped on our coats and jumped in the car. For some reason the drive to ballet took forever, it seemed like the slowest drive ever. We made it to ballet and parked up. Bella tried to run into the ballet hall but I had to shout at her to stop. She was about to run head long across a car park with no regard to any cars coming in. I really don’t want her to get squished by a car.

We finally made it in to the hall and said hello. Once in class we popped on Bella’s ballet she chose a coloured square to sit on. She found her spot and we settled down. Now I was hoping Bella was going to be focused and join in beautifully and she did for the first half of the class.

She enjoyed joining in with her good toes and naughty toes, showing them to her teacher and answering questions. Then we did Incy Wincy Spider, Bella really enjoys this one. She did insist on me joining in too. Little bit hard when she was sitting on my lap and wanting to see me do the actions in front of her, I mean she’s not as little as she used to be.

Next up was peek a boo. Normally they do this activity with the scarfs but today they were to use their knees. Bella went and sat next to Miss Paige to help demonstrate how to do it. First they hard to curl up into a ball behind their knees and then they hard to spring open like a star fish. Once Bella had helped demonstrate she moved to the middle of the class so she could face Miss Paige and join in with the rest of the girls.

After peek a boo and another activity (which completely has abandoned my brain while writing this) Miss Paige brought out the parachute. Bella was very excited as soon as she saw it. She quickly grabbed the handle and joined in with the rest of the girls waving the parachute up and down.

Her happiness soon depleted though. She wanted to run under the parachute but that wasn’t her task for the time being. I ended up hanging on to Bella so she couldn’t disappear under the parachute. Miss Paige had noticed that Bella was pulling against me and asked what was wrong. When I told her Bella wanted to go under the parachute she reassured Bella that she could go under it in a minute.

Soon that time came and Bella was so excited that she could run under the parachute while us adults waved the parachute up and down.

Now that was the good half of the class but then it went down hill. We had the jumping activity next. Now we all know how this normally goes, Bella joins in once and then doesn’t want to join in. Well today their activity was to jump 5 spots then crawl through the tunnel and then jump 5 more spots. Bella happily completed this task once but on the second time through the tunnel she decided she was going to try and shut herself in the tunnel. I wasn’t having that so I picked her up to take her back to the beginning so we could try again. Sadly I managed to catch her with my nail and she was obviously still tired so that resulted in tears.

And unfortunately the tears continued for the rest of the session. The second to last activity of the day involved the shakers. But this time instead of each child having two shakers they were to collect a pair but then give one to their adult. Bella didn’t like that at all. We had lots of tears even though I tried to encourage her what to do. When it came time to pack them away Bella wanted to put both shakers away but Miss Paige wanted us to put our own away. Once we’d finally managed to get the shakers put away it was time to find Twinkl.

Bella went and collected her Twinkl and then followed all the instructions to put Twinkl to bed. Thankfully there were no more tears although I felt very stressed by the end of the session. My anxiety had got to a point that because Bella had been in tears in class I felt like I’d been a bad mum and I was extremely tearful on the drive home. Luckily I was heading home to have a counselling assessment.

When we got home I sorted Bella out some lunch, found her some clothes for nursery and then made sure Daly was up. He was taking Bella to nursery so I could just focus on my counselling.

Once my counselling session had ended I set about cleaning the kitchen, it gave me something to focus on. Liam and Daly came home to find me bleaching everything in sight. When I’d finished bleaching everything I chilled out in the living room for a bit before Daly and I went to collect Bella from nursery. We were going to see Cathy after nursery to pick up the hoses for her Vax that she had leant us but I wanted to go just so I could have a hug.

I went and met Bella in nursery and then we jumped into the car with Daly and headed off. Bella was happily sat in the back enjoying a lolly she had received as she’d left nursery. We got to Cathy’s and all went into say hello. As soon as we got into Cathy’s house Bella wanted to build a jigsaw puzzle that she had in the cupboard of toys there. So I sat on the floor and built the jigsaw. I found it really hard as I was trying to build it side on so all the pieces looked funny. Once I’d finished the jigsaw Cathy and I enjoyed a cup of tea and had a chat while Bella and Nathan enjoyed crackers and watched TV.

Sadly we soon had to say our goodbyes so we could go home and have some dinner. We had hugs and kisses to say goodbye and then headed on our way. Daly ended up carrying everything to the car. He wouldn’t have if Bella had walked or waited for me but they trotted off up the road together.

Although it’s only a short drive home from Cathy’s, Bella ended up falling asleep in the car on the drive home. She was still completely soundo by the time we got home. We popped her on the sofa so she could continue to sleep and then I hit the kitchen to do us all some dinner.

I had planned on cooking bangers and mash for dinner but I couldn’t be bothered to mash the potato and also sausages take so long to cook. In the end I cooked us a hotpot. I love just throwing everything in a pan and letting it all cook. It’s also nice as it’s a nice cosy meal.

Anyways, night all and let’s see what adventures tomorrow holds for us.

Love CiCi x

Birthday Present Shopping – 22nd January 2020

This morning I once again had a plan. Yeah that didn’t really go to plan. My main aim for today was to sort out Bella’s place room. It has become a dumping ground again with all her toys. It was going to be a bit of a mission but I decided to give it ago. As you can see I had a bit of a task ahead of me.

I managed to tidy quite a bit, I mean I can now open the door into the room so that means I can keep an eye on Bella playing while I cook dinner easier. I suppose a little bit of progress is better than no progress especially when I’m having to attempt to get this house ready to be valued.

Now the problem of tidying Bella’s playroom is she sees all her toys and wants to play with them all. I managed to sort out all her babies and baby items so they can be easily got to and put away with minimal chaos. But because I had sorted them out Bella wanted to play with them. She ended up playing with her Ariel doll and various accessories.

As well as playing with her dolls she also found the foam shapes that she had got for Christmas. We laid them all out and pieced them all together. Bella argued with me whether they were numbers or letters but it turns out she does have a pretty good recognition of numbers. When we asked her to find certain numbers she was able to do it.

As well as some number recognition we also made some jigsaws. Bella found the jigsaw Nathan had bought her last Christmas. Considering we hadn’t had the jigsaws out for ages she still knew how to put them all together. She is a bright little cookie.

Daly ended up waking up early ish today and was off work which meant I was able to head into town to try to and find these birthday presents that have been driving me loopy. I got myself ready to head out, made sure I had plenty of bags and then said goodbye to Daly and Bella.

I set off out and walked into town. As I was heading out of our close I spotted the bushes looked very pretty. I couldn’t work out how. They looked all sparkly and as if they had tinsel flecks on them. On a closer look I discovered there lots of tiny spider webs dotted across the bushes and they were covered in dew drops. They looked so pretty. I thought to myself I really should get my camera out at some point so I can take some proper photos.

I actually had a pretty successful shopping trip. I managed to get all the errands I needed to do, done. I even managed to come up with present ideas and complete them. It took me a little bit of time but by the time Daly rang me to ask if I wanted a lift home I had completed everything. I mean I had to pop into Sainsbury’s to pick up a last item for each present.

I ran in and grabbed my last little pieces and then waited for Daly in the loading area outside. It turns out he wasn’t as ready as I though he was to pick me up. I waited outside listening to my music and singing to myself.

Daly eventually turned up blaring out his music. Apparently he had gotten a few weird looks as he drove over and I have to say I am not surprised. We quickly headed to Food Warehouse to grab some crisps for his parents. He was heading over there to get his hair done. We got the crisps and then Daly dropped me home. Liam had looked after Bella for us briefly while Daly picked me up.

When I got dropped off I decided to wrap Leanne’s birthday presents ready to see her on Friday. Bella wanted to help me but I’m so fussy about wrapping. Once I’d finished I felt they needed a little bit extra. I managed to resist though. I didn’t end up putting any bows on them or ribbons. Instead I just put them all in a nice pink bag for Leanne.

I then moved on to Rachel’s present. Rachel skipped forward if you don’t want to see what I’ve got you. In fact just stop reading and move on lol you’ll get your present soon.

I decided to make a goodie basket for Rachel with bits for her to pamper herself with and some of her favourite items. I love doing things like this for peoples birthdays, I just think it’s more personal. Especially as I tailor them to each person I make them for. Once all the items were placed in the basket I wrapped it up with the plastic and sent Rachel a message to let her know her present was ready for her.

Once I finished wrapping the presents we chilled out for a little bit upstairs. We were waiting for Daly to get home with our dinner. As he was coming home late he was picking up dinner on his way home. While I was upstairs with Bella we heard the door bell go. I guessed it wasn’t Daly, he has his own key but I did think it was Rachel.

Turns out I was wrong. Instead of Rachel at the door it was my nextdoor neighbour. She had been having a sort out of her daughters toys and had come round to give some of them to Bella. As soon as I saw what was in her hands I knew Bella was going to be over the moon. Our neighbour had brought round a doctors kit, perfect for a little girl always watching Doc McStuffin at the moment, a toy hoover and a Cinderella dress. Bella was over the moon. As soon as we’d said goodbye to our neighbour she wanted the dress on.

So I had Cinderella cleaning my living room this evening.

I’m so glad I managed to complete these Birthday presents, It’s been driving me loopy. Hopefully I see both girlies soon so I can hand them over and I really hope they like them.

Anyways, night all and let’s see what adventures tomorrow holds for us.

Love CiCi x

Shopping with Rachel – 21st January 2020

I kinda have plans for today, it’s just whether I can do them. We had a go slow morning. I wanted to go shopping to try and finish buying these Birthday presents that I tried to buy last friday. I didn’t blog what happened last Friday. I was going to but I ended up pulling up my back while shopping town so my long day enjoying time to myself, doing some shopping and having my weekly Costa was brought to an abrupt end with Daly picking me up so I could go home and rest up with a lot of pain killers. So we were going to attempt shopping again.

I did a bit of tidying in the morning leading to our slow start and then I started to consider shopping. Just as I was about to get myself ready Liam said Rachel was here. Now that completely threw me because Rachel works on a Tuesday. But it turns out she was off. So she popped into see us and I suggested going shopping over on the island. It also meant that I could get rid of the charity shop bits I had in my hall way that had been sat there for ages. I also asked her if dad had messaged her. He had messaged me this morning saying that he would be in touch within the week about putting the house on the market. Which completely set my anxiety off. I still haven’t come to terms with mum’s death, I haven’t even begun to deal and process with it even though it happened over a year ago. So even though I knew it was coming I’ still not mentally in a place to deal with that. It took us ges to sort out mum’s bed room – and there are still items of mum’s in her bedroom that I haven’t gone through. Mum had an office that is filled topped to toe with stuff and we haven’t even touched it. I can’t bring myself to and although Rachel is good with this stuff she works full time and doesn’t want to spend all her time off going through mum’s stuff. So I needed to get out of the house, get away from anything that linked me with the house so I didn’t have to deal with it. Thank god for my sister.

I’m still dreading when dad gets in touch again about the house. I know it needs to be done but if I haven’t taken the time to grieve and process and I can’t even bring myself to go through mum’s stuff how am I suppose to do that in a week. I mean I have simple little tasks I know I can do and I know need to be done but I can’t bring myself to do them. I just feel so panicked and even though I know the consequences of not doing these little tiny jobs – nothing on the scale of clearing a room out – I just can’t bring myself to do them. I want to, I know I need to but I can’t. The only positive from all this is it’s given me the push to actually seek help. As I said to Rachel when she turned up, I don’t think it’s a case of if I’m going to have a complete break down it’s a case of when and dealing with everyone else’s rubbish on top is just making things worse. I need a nice long holiday away from everyone and everything and just hide away until I’m ready to face the world. So I’ll be back in a couple of years.

Bella had spent all morning watching Doc McStuffin on Disney Life while I tried to get my life together. She really likes Doc McStuffin and Princess Sofia at the moment. I suppose it’s a nice break from Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.

Anyways, Rachel tried to help me by getting Bella ready to go out but she didn’t want that. So instead I got Bella ready and Rachel packed the car with the charity shop items. So I thought we were all ready to go but Bella wasn’t ready, she wanted a snack. So we sorted her out a snack and once she’d eaten that we were ready to roll.

I popped Bella’s car seat into Rachel’s car and then we headed off to the retail park on the island. First stop when we got there Cancer Research. I was struggling with sorting Bella out and popping her coat on when we got out of the car. Rachel disappeared and soon reappeared with a trolley and filled it with the boxes. In the time it took me to get Bella out of the car, coat on and walk her across to the Cancer Research shop Rachel had found a trolley, loaded the trolley, taken it into the store and already donated it all.

Bella and I spent some time looking at the clothes – she is growing too fast at the moment, she’s growing out of her clothes so quickly so any I can find that I like and are cheap are a bonus. Bella spent her time playing with all the toys. We found lots of giant unicorns and she found an Elsa Barbie doll. I convinced her to put them down but then she found a few Toot Toot driver building which she really wanted. She likes the Toot Toot drives but if you’ve been with me from the beginning you might remember she had got quite a bit of Toot Toot pieces over the past year.. Resulting in quite a lot at both home and her grandparents.

Rachel came and joined us and tried to convince Bella she didn’t need any toys with Christmas just been and her birthday coming soon. While Rachel was dealing with the moody toddler I paid for a few clothing items I had found. A cute little tartan dress, I love tartan clothes and a pair of pastel linen trousers. I had asked Bella if she liked the trousers and she said no but I didn’t care I liked them so was buying them for her.

Just as we were about to leave Bella found a sofa set she liked and wanted to try out. It turned out there was a sombrero on the sofa so Rachel tried it on for size. Bella got a little jealous and wanted to try it on but then she did and finally she did again. She looked very cute in this giant hat but I think Rachel wore it better.

Our next stop was Poundland. I picked up a few little bits we needed for the house and then raided the kids clothes. Bella saw a Minnie Mouse jumper she wanted and at Poundland prices I was happy to buy it for her. I love Poundland jumpers, they aren’t that thick so they are nice and lightweight to wear over clothes and because they aren’t too expensive they are ideal for nursery. I also picked her up a pair of rose gold trainers for nursery. Her ones are starting to get a little tight and these were just too cute to pass up. We tried them on in the clothing aisle and Bella wanted to wear them there and then. I had to tell her we had to pay for them before she could wear them which she wasn’t too happy with but she agreed.

Just as we were heading to the checkout we found the sale clothing. I raided it to see if I could find Bella anything. I came across some panda trousers for her that I though Paige would like, she loves pandas. They had a few more of those lightweight jumpers I like but sadly none in her size so we just had to just leave it. We can use her Christmas ones at nursery. I mean they may last her until next Christmas but I’m not holding my breath.

Once we had paid for everything and left Poundland, we put on Bella’s new trainers and she became slightly happier. We now hit the last store on the retail park – B and M. I was still looking for these birthday presents. So up and down the aisles we went. I again picked up a few bits I needed for home but couldn’t find anything present worthy.

We hit the candle aisle and I am that annoying person that has to smell every candle but also mutters to myself about the smell of them. I am a very fussy candle smell person. There are not many I like so it’s very hard for me to find one I like. B and M seem to be getting more scented candles in. I remember when it used to be a tiny little section at the end of the random house decor aisle. You know the one I mean. All the inspiration quote plaques, photo frames, random metal words and fake plants. Now their candles are like half an aisle to themselves so a lot of sniffling and disgusted noises.

I did get quite annoyed because I could smell a candle I really liked but when it came to the sniff test of all the candles I couldn’t find it. Very disappointing. They do have a sweetie range with ones such as Love Hearts and Squishies. Now I can’t stand Parma Violets from eating too much as a child. The thought of them actually makes me feel sick but the scented candle was lovely. I could of happily purchased that but I think I need to use up the candles I have first.

We carried on through the store and I still couldn’t find anything for people for their presents. In the toy aisle I did find one for Bella thought. They had a little princess accessory set, with a crown and shoes and jewelry. I thought it would be ideal for Bella as she really loves dressing up and her princesses. I asked her which set she wanted, they had a pink set and a blue set and with her loving both Sleeping Beauty and Elsa I left the decision to her. In the end she chose the blue set which goes perfectly with one of her other presents I have bought her.

We headed back to the car once we’d paid and loaded up. I had asked if we could go to Tescos. I prefer their pull ups for Bella and the one on the island has a nice big clothing section so I thought I might get lucky with a present or two.

Bella wanted nuggets though. It’s getting bad how much she wants nuggets and sadly when were out shopping there aren’t many cheap options. So our first stop was McDonalds. I had to direct Rachel as she only knows how to get to the retail park on the island. I however know my way round the island very easily. I used to be over here all the time when I first passed.

We made it to McDonalds, ordered and found a seat. They were so quick with the food I didn’t even get a chance to get Bella a colouring sheet. We happily ate in silence and Bella watched the work men outside. They were cleaning the path and the drains. Bella was fascinated by the hose. So at least she had some dinner time entertainment.

Once lunch was finished with I walked Bella round to Tescos while Rachel drove the car round. I didn’t want to put Bella in the car for a two second drive so we faced the cold and walked. We met Rachel by the door but Bella had other ideas. She had seen the Bob the Builder digger by the entrance. Now these are easy to get her out of as long as I don’t mind wasting a pound. Bella will jump straight out of them as soon as they start moving but it’s a bit of an expensive way to get her off them.

She eventually gave up with it and headed into the store with Rachel while I grabbed a trolley. As I walked though the main doors I could hear Bella calling me. I found Bella and Rachel over by the flowers. Bella wanted to buy a bunch of yellow and orange roses. I had no problem with that. They were only £2 and there is nothing wrong with buying yourself flowers. In the trolley they went and we headed to the very far end of the store to raid the clothes. We managed to loose Rachel pretty quickly so Bella and I were hunting round the aisle calling for her.

Bella found the fancy dress clothes and was looking at the various costumes. She found a Jessie costume (from Toy Story) but she didn’t like that one too much. She prefered Woody. We then headed to the sales rack a found a few more outfits. First Jasmine (from Aladdin) and then Bella (from Beauty and the Beast). Bella really liked Belle’s dress but I wasn’t too sure about it as she had had so many fancy dress costumes over Christmas. Then we came across the actually fancy dress section where there was Elsa (Frozen), Rapunzel (Tangled) and Ariel (Little Mermaid). Bella really liked the Rapunzel dress but again I didn’t want to buy her one with her birthday so close. We need ideas for other people so I can’t buy them all.

We eventually found Rachel and headed down the toy aisle. Bella found one of those Hatchimals which I do not agree with. What is it with all the toys nowadays being surprises and collect them all. I’d like to know what I’m actually buying my daughter so I don’t waste money on three of the same thing. I do not agree with that marketing tactic at all. Kinder eggs are fine but flipping Hatchimals and LOL dolls – nope I don’t agree with them.

We finally got Bella to put the Hatchimal down and headed down the next aisle of toys which also had all the seasonal (weather wise) items. It was full of camping equipment. Bella saw the sleeping bags and decided we need a few of them. She quickly popped two in the trolley and then Rachel battled with her over the third. To be fair she’d chosen enough so Daly, Bella and I could all go camping but we don’t need sleeping bags. I did however let her dad know that Bella wanted to go camping, something I have wanted to do for a while.

We finally made it in to the baby aisle so I could pick up pull ups and then called it a day. I couldn’t find anything appropriate for birthday presents so I’ll have to give that a go another day. As we walked back up towards the tills Bella ran ahead and headed into the clothes aisles. And played hide and seek. She was so cute with all we could see were her feet under all the clothes. Rachel and I stood there commenting on how we couldn’t see Bella and how we’d have to go home without her. She was a very good hider. She didn’t come out for a good two minutes.

We were able to set on our way again and I paid for all our bits at the till. We headed back home for a chilled out afternoon. We went the back way home and Rachel ended up getting a little lost. I ended up having to direct her before we ended up on one of the new housing estates in town. Bless her, I think I took her out of her comfort zone with locations today. I noticed I started to have a bit of a panic attack on the way home. For some reason the idea of going back to the house was making me really anxious. I don’t know if it was because I was going home and having to face the reality of attempting to get my mind into the right space to sort things out or what.

When we got home Bella got her toys out, with her little house and bus and played quietly. I was pretty thankful for that. The panic attack had taken it out of me and I was pretty tired. I was trying hard to stay awake. Bella happily played with her little princess figures and Optimus Prime while I tried to gather my strength to carry on with the day.

After a little bit of playing it came to my attention that Bella wanted her flowers so we went into the kitchen and I showed her how to look after them. We took them out of the packet and then I cut about an inch off each of the stems. Once the stem was cut Bella popped the roses into the vase. Once they were all in the vase I gave Bella a jug of water so she could fill the vase.

Once her roses were arranged we placed them in the living room to brighten the place up.

So not these best day but kinda productive I suppose. At least I actually did something. Sadly no birthday presents bought which was the main goal of the day. Oh well maybe tomorrow.

Night all and let’s see what adventures tomorrow holds for us.

Love CiCi x

Ballet and a Baby Free Night – 16th January 2020

It’s a Thursday so we all know that means it’s ballet day. We got up and dressed. Bella wasn’t ready to go straight to ballet though, instead she found her gymnastics ribbon and wanted to do some dancing first. Like always with Bella, she asked me to take photos of her dancing. It seems to be the only time I’m really allowed to take her photos and she asks.

We eventually finished with the ribbon and were able to go out to the car. Bella wanted to carry her own backpack although she got a bit annoyed when I told her she needed to take her backpack off so she could sit in her car seat. She’s really taken to wanting to carry her own backpack. She will even carry her nursery backpack from the car into nursery.

We made it to ballet and headed into the hall. This week Bella couldn’t work out where she wanted to sit. Eventually she chose a spot and also made friends with a new girl who had turned up to the class. They were running around together. It was nice that Bella was so welcoming.

We had another pretty calm ballet session. Bella listened and joined in well. She remembered the actions to Incy Wincy Spider and joined in nicely with everyone singing. After Incy Wincy Spider we played peek a boo with the scarfs. Normally Bella doesn’t join in too much. She normally ends up trying to lay the scarf out and making sure she has the right corners to hold but this week she was shouting BOO! along with the rest of the girls.

The next activity was to follow Miss Paige around on tip toes. It turns out Bella is pretty good at keeping on her tip toes but as soon as the class is told to follow Miss Paige around the room Bella has to be at the front. Funnily enough today it didn’t seem such an issue that Bella wasn’t at the front, she was just happy joining in today.

After being tip toe fairies we tried galloping like last week. Bella was a little better this week and tried really hard. She may have been a little slow as she side stepped her feet together but she gave it a good go and stuck with it. Next up was jumping. Surprisingly Bella lasted two rounds of jumping before she had had enough and wanted to sit down in our spot.

Before Twinkl came out for the final part of the session the shakers were back. Bella followed Miss Paige’s instructions and completed all the actions including shaking near to the floor, high in the sky and even knocking the shakers together.

It was now time to grab a Twinkl and say goodbye to class. Bella waited patiently for her Twinkl and then brought it to sit with me. Again Bella followed instructions nicely and did what Miss Paige said. She did get a little distressed when all the teddies were in a circle and then one of them got moved out of the circle. There are times Bella seems to have a little bit of an obsessive side to her and likes everything to be perfect.

With ballet finished it was home for lunch, get changed and then head off to nursery.

After nursery Bella wanted to dress up as Sleeping Beauty. I had told her that was fine as she had been asking all day but she hadn’t been able to dress up yet. She put her Sleeping Beauty dress on and asked for the giant bow to be put in her hair again along with a crown.

Bella was off for a sleepover at Grandma and Grandads tonight. And of course it doesn’t matter if she goes in her princess dress which she was very happy about. Daly was taking her over to his parents on his way to work so Bella and I had a little chill time watching TV before she went.

I’ve been currently watching the Netflix show Alexa and Katie and really liking it. If you have no idea what it’s about it’s about two teenage best friends and one of them has cancer and it’s sort of how she’s adjusting to school and trying to get her life back together after having chemo all summer. Now that is not really a spoiler, I think that covers maybe the first five minutes of episode one season one. It’s really good. Well I say that it’s started to get a bit heavy – but it hasn’t. I don’t if it’s because I’ve now watched the whole of the first two seasons and I’m now on to season three and maybe it’s a bit too much cancer talk for me and it’s kinda hitting a nerve. I mean to the point I’ve actually had to turn the TV off mid watching and find something happier (even though it’s a teen sitcom, so it’s not even depressing, it just seems to be getting to me)

Anyways Daly took Bella off to Dawn and Grants and I was officially baby free for 24 hours or toddler free. I spent my evening watching rubbish TV and drinking wine. It was nice to just have an evening for me and tomorrow I have a whole day.

Night all, and let’s see what adventures are up next.

Love CiCi x

Princess Aurora for the day – 15th January 2020

Today we had a film day. Bella has been really into watching Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and the Little Mermaid. Bella really wanted to dress up in her Sleeping Beauty dress and be a princess while watching princess films.

She got herself dressed up in her dress and then decided that Aurora needed her make up done. First up she chose some accessories. She found her rings and a pink necklace to go with her pretty pink dress. Next up was nail varnish. She wanted green nails today for some reason. Not sure why as the purple she originally picked was very pretty but she wanted green in the end. I painted her nails the pretty green she had chosen.

I taught Bella to blow her nails after we painted them to try to dry them. She sat on her little chair waving her hands and blowing her nails. It was so cute.

Once I’d painted her nails we moved on to face make up. Bella has some highlighter that I originally bought for me but she claimed it. So I popped someone her cheek bones and then she asked for some eye shadow on. She chose the pink eye shadow. I did her make up and then she was ready.

We enjoyed a nice chilled afternoon enjoying Disney films. I quite enjoyed it as I managed to finally see the Little Mermaid 2. Bella really wasn’t impressed though when I rewound part of the film because I had missed it being in the kitchen. I really am a big kid at heart.

I couldn’t be bothered to cook dinner tonight. I’ve been craving burgers recently and I finally gave into my cravings. I first looked into ordering via Just Eat from one of the takeaways in town. But after looking through and seeing all the prices it seemed a bit pricey for the four of us so then I looked at the McDonalds app and also how much it would cost to get dinner delivered by Uber eats. In the end I decided it was going to be cheaper to just go and get our dinner ourselves. I did order via the app though. It meant I was able to get Liam’s order and work our what we all wanted without having to remember it all at the drive thru.

Daly and I went off to McDonalds to go pick up our dinner while Liam watched Bella. I realised just as we pulled up to McDonalds I realised I hadn’t got Bella’s order right, I had ordered the wrong drink. I had forgotten to check the order from previous times. Luckily you are able to edit your order on the app so I was able to correct it quickly before we put our order through the drive thru.

We received our orderly quickly and headed back home. When we got home we laid the food out on the floor like a picnic and tucked in. I had been a bit of a greedy guts. I’d ordered a large big tasty with bacon meal and a box of 20 chicken nuggets. Man my craving was bad.

It turns out I ended up sharing my box of 20 chicken nuggets with Bella. Some times she has quite an appetite.

We continued our evening of enjoying each others company. Daly and Liam went on the PlayStation to play their game while Bella and I played with her bus and her princesses.

We had a nice day just chilling at home and playing princesses.

Night all and let’s see what adventures we have next

Love CiCi x

Back to Ballet – 9th January 2020

Christmas is over which means back to normality. Back to a routine. I am so happy about that. This morning it was back to ballet. Bella had received a new ballet bag and a long sleeved leotard for Christmas from my dad so today we were trying them out. I got her all dressed and ready for ballet and then we headed out. It was a little painful getting up this morning, my body clock is completely out of wack no matter how many times I’ve tried to reset it. It’s stupid. Surprisingly I actually managed to get Bella and I both up and dressed so we could leave on time.

Bella had insisted on a giant Tickled Pink bow (covered in the breast cancer ribbon) as apposed to her usual ballet bow. It looked a bit silly but I let her. I was happy she was letting put a bow in her hair so I wasn’t going to fight which one it was.

We headed out to the car and set off to ballet.

Bella was a different child at ballet today. She was so focused. I was amazed. She listened so nicely to miss Paige and joined in with all the activities she was given. Normally she’s running around and causing a bit of chaos but today she joined in beautifully.

One of her favourite activities was Incy Wincy Spider. She went and sat next to Miss Paige and tried so hard with the actions. It was nice to be able to just sit and watch her rather than having to encourage her to look at what was going on, or what she should be doing, or to just get her to join the group again.

She joined in so nicely and sharing things with the other girls. We tried galloping from side to side today. Bella wasn’t too sure how to do it so more walked than galloped but I got a good work out out of it. We had to hold our children’s hands while galloping around the mats one way and then the other in the hopes to encourage them to gallop. As I said Bella couldn’t really work out how to gallop.

Next up was jumping and this is just not Bella’s cup of tea. She completed one run of jumping on all the spots laid out across the floor but after that she was done. I don’t know why she doesn’t like jumping so much but she just will not give it more than one go.

At the end of class Bella went and got her Twinkl and rocked her to bed. She followed all of Miss Paige’s instructions. She brushed Twinkl’s hair, bushed her teeth, blew her a kiss and tucked her into bed.

After class Miss Paige gave Bella her sticker and praised her for being so much calmer and focused in class today. It’s sad but Bella moves class in 6 weeks as she’ll be too old for this class. I wonder how she will get on in that class. Especially as I think it is a different teacher that runs the class. But we will see when the time comes.

Night all, and let’s see what are next adventure is.

Love CiCi x

Shopping with Rachel – 8th January 2019

Rachel is coming round today. We hadn’t really since Rachel since Christmas so it was nice to actually see her and spend some time together. When Rachel turned up Bella wanted to show her all the things she had gotten for Christmas.

She grabbed Rachel and the pair of them ended up sitting on the floor together and did their make up. As well as the little make up she had gotten from Zach she also received some make up sets from Daly and I. We had got her a large set of water based nail varnish as well as a make up set with lip gloss and eye shadows.

Once Rachel and Bella had finished their make up I came up with the idea of going for a walk into town. I’ve have a few people I need to buy some birthday presents for and with Daly being at work and it being after Christmas we decided we were going to walk into town.

We got ourselves ready and I sorted out the pram so we could walk into town. Off we went into the cold. Rachel pushed the pram into town while I slowly walked behind them.

We took a nice wander around town, visiting all the charity shops – something I don’t think we’ve really done since mum died. We used to go every Monday with mum, it was just our little routine. We had a look round all a few other shops in the High Street before hitting the shopping centre. We headed into the Works and had a look round. While we were in the Works Bella got a bit bored so I took her out of the shop and let her play with the Christmas Baubles that were in the middle of the shopping centre. They were part of their Christmas decorations and the shopping centre hadn’t deChristmased yet.

We were in the shopping centre where Bella’s godfather Zach works. I sent him a photo of us playing around in the baubles. While we were still waiting for Rachel, Bella disappeared off to the jewellers. Bella loves their window display of Disney ornaments. While we were looking through the window Zach appeared behind me, making me jump. We had a chat about the ornaments that Bella seemed to like and Rachel finally joined us.

We were planning on heading to Poundstretcher but Bella had other ideas. I had told her we were going to go to Costa for lunch and she didn’t want to go to Poundstretcher. Instead she was hungry and dragged us off to Costa. We went in and grabbed us some lunch before ordering drinks. Once we received our drinks we went and sat on a table into the corner.

After lunch we carried on with our shopping. We eventually made it in to Poundstretcher where I’d promised Bella she could have some chocolate. She had tried to get me to buy her a cheap version of Kinder eggs but I told her I’d get her a Paw Patrol egg instead and at least that might have something inside she liked. Well she didn’t want a Paw Patrol egg instead she wanted a chocolate lolly. I didn’t mind, it was probably half the price of one of those eggs.

We finished looking round the shops in town and quickly popped into Sainsburys to get some bits before we went home.

It was nice having a chilled out day with Rachel just wandering round town together. It’s been a long time since we did it.

Night all, and let’s see what our next adventure is

Love CiCi x

Date Night at Leeds Castle – 4th January 2020

Last night Daly rang me and told me we were going out tonight and to not worry he had already arranged a babysitter.I had mentioned to him a few days I wanted to go out on a date where I had to dress up. I’ve got quite a few nice dresses and I never have a chance to wear them. So because of that Daly has arranged something for tonight. I just knew I needed to be ready by 6.30pm.

Where I said so long to get ready I took a nice chilled out day taking my time to have a bath and do my hair. While I was doing all this Daly and Liam went out shopping this afternoon and when they came back Daly handed me a large bunch of flowers. Now Daly never buys me flowers. If I’m lucky I might get some flowers for Valentines or our anniversary but never for a date or anything. So that was a very pleasant surprise.

They were very pretty flowers. Not a type of bunch that I’d think he would buy me. They were bright roses in orange and pink with white ones and also a lot of lilies. I sorted them out and placed them in a vase and placed that on the table.

Daly had a shower to get ready and got dressed and then chilled out on the sofa. I had done my hair and then I went and got dressed. I wanted to wear my little black dress that my mum had bought me for my birthday a few years ago. I tried it on for my birthday last year but Daly did’t like it and the ruffles didn’t go with my birthday sash. However tonight I wanted to wear my black dress. I like it so I was going to wear it. I put the dress on and then wore my oversized black cardigan so Daly couldn’t see what I was wearing. Not that it mattered because he didn’t seem to notice me walking round the house at all.

I sat in the dining room to do my make up and then spent a good 30 minutes trying to put on a necklace and a pair of earrings. Oh man it is a struggle with my acrylic nails. I eventually was ready – dress on, jewelry on, hair done, make up done, shoes on and it was time to go.

I truly have the sweetest daughter ever though. Before Daly saw me, Bella saw me. She was sitting up to the table having dinner with Liam. She actually stopped eating her dinner and just stared at me going ‘Wow!’ She even put her hand over her mouth to show her surprise. She then stopped and just went ‘Mummy you look beautiful!’ I was blown away but her reaction. It was so sweet.

Daly and I said our goodbyes to Liam and Bella and got into the car. Now it was pretty cold tonight. Thank god for heated seats. Daly typed the address into the SAT NAV. He was still trying to hide where we were going from me. He wanted to surprise me. I hadn’t question where he was going to take me. I knew we were going out for dinner but that was it but I was happy to just find out where we were going when we got there. With the SAT NAV set up all I knew was we were heading towards Maidstone. Daly kept asking me to guess but I honestly had no idea.

Daly actually managed to keep it a surprise right up to actually arriving at our destination. The only place I knew was near by was Leeds Castle. The thing was I didn’t think that could be the destination as Leeds Castle was closed. Daly was extremely impressed I still had no idea. We pulled up though an arched gate and up to a barrier where Daly had to push a buzzer to be let in. Once we were let through the barrier and I still wasn’t sure Daly told me to look through the windscreen and in front of us was Leeds Castle.

I was still extremely confused. I didn’t understand why we were at somewhere that was closed. I mean it looked pretty with all the lights but I still didn’t get it. We parked up in a car park and Daly explained to me that we had a booking at the Castle View Restaurant. Still a little bit confused as I didn’t realise there was such a thing but it was fun being in such a pretty venue and not being too sure what was going on.

We had turned up half an hour before our booking so we sat in the table and Daly showed me a copy of the menu to look at before we went out in the cold.

We decided to brave the cold and head towards or try and find the restaurant. We were a little confused where we had to go but we knew we had parked in the right place so it was time to follow the signs and see where they would lead us.

Our first direction was to head through a little arch way into a garden.

Even though it was so dark, it was so pretty walking along the little lights coming out from the bottom of the bushes.

We followed the park and then headed through another arch way into the courtyard. I instantly spotted the massive Christmas tree covered in lights as well as a cute lamppost. I’m an absolute sucker for a cute lamppost. I insisted Daly took my photo with the lamppost. I mean I couldn’t pass up the photo op.

From the courtyard we headed round the corner and were faced with Leeds Castle across the moat. We were a little bit away from the actual moat but the view was gorgeous. We followed the directions which lead us alongside the moat towards steps that lead up to the restaurant.

We climbed up the steps and were faced with this beautiful sight …

We took a few photos in front of the castle and then headed inside the restaurant. It was very fancy. We walked in and we immediately seated by the window so we could have a beautiful view of the castle. The service was amazing. The waitress took our coats and asked if we wanted any water for the table. And whether we wanted still or sparkling. I haven’t been to a restaurant like this in years so it was nice.

We had a look at the drinks menus and then at the food menu to see what we were actually going to order. Daly had told me not to worry about the prices of things but this is me, money makes me freak out. But I kind of obliged. When it came to order drinks I ordered a medium glass was rose that was more expensive than a lot of the bottles of rose I buy.

Then it was on to ordering our dinner. We had both mentioned having the gammon. There was a note under it that said it was quite large so ideal to share. We decided to go for that and share it with some extra sides. The waiter came over to take our order. I didn’t really want to order for us but the waiter said ladies first so I kind of had no choice. I ordered our food and Daly and I each chose a side to have with it. Once the food was ordered we sat and chatted about various dates we’d had over the years while looking out over the castle.

When our food turned up it was huge. We had a huge gammon joint to share between the pair of us. It came with paisley mash potato (which was amazing) and winter roasted vegetables. Daly had ordered a side of chips for him and I had ordered maple bacon carrots.

The food was brilliant. It definitely was big enough to share. We couldn’t even finish it between us. The food was wonderful, the service was wonderful, the drinks were wonderful and I suppose the company was wonderful lol. We had a really nice night at the Castle View Restaurant. It was an amazing surprise and a true treat.

Daly asked me if I wanted to have dessert but I decided that instead of their fancy desserts I just wanted a boring McFlurry from McDonalds. We settled our bill and then the waiter went and retrieved our coats. I was surprised he knew which ones were ours as he hadn’t been the one to seat us but I’m guessing they have a method to keep track of them all. He even helped me put my coat on which through me. I actually ended up punching Daly in the stomach.

We left the restaurant and walked back along the route back to the car. I had to stop and take some more photos of the castle as we walked. It was just so pretty.

We made our way back to the car and then set off home via a McDonalds for my McFlurry. It was an amazing night. A true surprise. I might have to let Daly arrange our date nights from now on if he’s going to do this well. I suppose I’ll have to see if he wants to plan one next month and find out what he has up his sleeve.

Night all, and let’s see what adventures we have next.

Love CiCi x