Mother’s Day – 31st March 2019

Oh man loosing that hour last night killed me. Obviously staying up until stupid o’clock didn’t help at all. I remember laying in bed watching Friends and one minute it was 1.10 and next thing I knew it was 2.35 and then I remembered the clocks jumped forward today. I did eventually manage to get back to sleep. I woke up slightly when Daly came home, he said Bella had been crying. I know I’m exhausted when I don’t wake at all to her. She started crying at 9am so I went in the comfort her and ended up crashing in bed again. I woke up again at 12.30 it’s a good thing Bella doesn’t mind me sleeping otherwise I’d be far more exhausted than I already am. We went in to wake up Daly, not that there was any need to he was already awake.

Bella and I went down stairs. While I tried to wake up Bella was happily entertaining herself. I sat on the sofa watching tv. I was not ready to face the world. Daly came downstairs and called Bella over to him. She appeared at my side with a card. I opened it and on the front of the card she told me there was a horsey and pointed to the mummy bear and then me, then pointed at the baby bear and then at herself. She showed me all her wonderful writing inside the card. Daly then called her over again and this time she appeared with a present for me, a lovely Sleeping Beauty mug and some fluffy socks.

Bella had found a Nanna card when we’d been shopping and I hadn’t had the heart to tell her to put it back. We got it out and we wrote in it for Nanna. She might not be here to see it but Bella wanted to get her a card.

Daly disappeared to go see his mum on mother’s day before he had to go to work. Rachel and I had planned to release balloons at mums favourite spot for mother’s day so I got the balloons ready and got Bella and I dressed as I wasn’t sure what time Rachel was coming round. We snuggled up and watched tv while we waited for Rachel. Rachel turned up about 3ish and we packed the balloons into the boot of the car.

Off we went to Tankerton. It had seemed like a lovely warm day but At Tankerton it was freezing. The joy of being by the sea, gale force wind. We were being blown all over the place. We walked down the hill to the beach and along to the spit of beach that goes out in to the sea called the Street. Bella was excited to get on to the beach, she loves to throw the pebbles into the sea. As we walked out to the end of the Street Rachel looked for crabs and starfish while Bella threw pebbles into the sea and went for a little paddle. Luckily she was wearing her wellies, I however wasn’t so had to keep her from not going too deep.

When we got to the end of the Street Rachel started to sort out the balloons. The first balloon out of the bag was the Special Nan balloon. Rachel and I had to stand there trying to untangle all the balloon strings, theyd formed quite a knot. Bella wasn’t liking the wind and was getting quite upset by this point. We were huddled together to try and protect her but it didn’t seem to be working. I ended up holding Bella while we untangled the balloons. Sadly the Nanna obviously wanted her Nan balloon and didn’t want to wait. As Bella was holding the balloon in my arms it suddenly came free from its string and flew off into the sky. Bella was extremely upset, I knew she would be. I kept telling her we were sending the balloons to Nanna because she loved balloons.

Then Rachel and I released our balloons. They flew out over the sea and into the distance.

We walked back up to the car. Bella still crying and all of us freezing. My left ear killed from the wind and cold and Rachel was suffering with her right ear. As soon as we got in the car Rachel wacked the heating on so we could warm up. None of us spoke on the way home, I think we were all having our own moments to think about mum and remembering her in our own private way. We starting chatting about ten minutes away from the house. Bella was soundo by now.

When we got home Bella wanted to watch Paw Patrol and Rachel was just chilling. I sat on the floor cutting out pictures I had printed for Bella to make a memory book for her Nanna. We’ve been adviced to do it to help with her process of grieving and it’s something nice for her to look back on in the future.

Rachel had to go home and I had to cook us some dinner. I decided to do us my egg fried rice as it’s nice a quick to do and I’d been feeling a bit sick.

While we waited for dinner to cook, Bella helped me take the washing of the drying horse and add it to the washing pile.

I had promised Bella that after dinner she could do some painting. She loves to paint and had found a mother’s day canvas when we bought Daly’s mums present. So she had her dinner and then I set the table up for painting.

Bella did very careful painting she chose her colour and then told me which part she was planning on painting. First off green for the ducks eyes and one of the baby ducks.

Then yellow for the big duck and one of the baby ducks.

Next was peach for the letters. As she painted the letters we discussed what sounds each letter made and Bella tried to repeat them.

Last was pink, which Bella added here and there. We left her painting on the table to dry overnight.

In the evening while I watched tv I lit the candle I had bought for mum. I sat it with my light up bottle I had bought mummy for Christmas. I placed it with her photo on top of the fire. We put Bella’s Nanna card with it. It was a nice way to end the day.

Let’s see what adventures we have next Mother’s Day.

Love you mummy and we hope you had a wonderful day. We missed you but we made the best of it. And we stuck together as a family like we promised you. Love your little Angel xxx

Love CiCi x

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