A few tantrums and Party time – 30th March 2019

For a Saturday I was out of bed and downstairs before 9.30. I have no idea why. Bella seemed wide awake this morning and as soon as she saw me she was ready to go downstairs. She was waiting at her bedroom door with her blanket, baby and drink cup. She gave me all her bits and then marched off downstairs.

We had run out of nappies last night so I need to go into town. I also needed to go into town to pick up some balloons for mother’s day. I sat for ages weighing up getting Daly to watch Bella while I run into town to pick up nappies and then come home and get Bella or to just take Bella with me. In the end I decided to let Daly sleep and take Bella into town with me and do both jobs at the same time.

Bella was a bit of a pickle in town. Well she was good to start with and then it just went down hill. First stop was Card Factory to get mother’s day balloons. Bella’s balloon was easy to find. We instantly found a Special Nan balloon for Nanna. I tried to get her to carry the packet around while we hunted for mum balloons but she was having none of it. Instead she hid in a corner of the shop behind a load of large gift bags, jumping out every now and then shouting boo!

I hunted for ages to find two mum balloons I liked. I eventually settled on a Special mum balloon and a beautiful mum balloon. Rachel and I are going to Tankerton seafront at low tide tomorrow to release them in memory of mum. It just our little way of being able to mark mother’s day with mum by going to her favourite spot in Kent.

They blew the balloons up for me and I through before I go back to the car I’d pop into Poundland for some crafty bits for Bella’s memory book. We were advised to do one by several bereavement charities. So I’ve printed out lots of photos for Bella and we can stick them into a book together. I really wanted to get some ribbon or something to use to decorate around the photos. Bella had been a bit of a pickle and kept trying to run out of Card Factory but she was fine once she was in Poundland. She picked up a basket and happily walked round the store dragging the basket behind her.

They didn’t have any crafty bits I wanted or liked in Poundland. So we left empty handed. I decided we might as well just walk up to Sainsburys and pick up Bella’s nappies. This is when the trouble started. Bella refused to hold my hand as we walked up to Sainsburys. We kept having to stop every now and then so I could talk to Bella and calm her down from her little tantrums.

Every time Bella had a melt down I stopped, gave her a hug and asked her what was wrong. She would calm down and I’d explain to her she needed to walk sensibly and hold my hand. This would work for the next ten meters and then the next melt down would happen. So I’d start the process again. I don’t mind doing it. Especially when I have my hands full so I can’t deal with a child running away from me or carry her in full tantrum mode. Also it defuses the situation so quickly. Luckily I don’t normally have a timetable to work by so I can take this extra time to calm her quickly.

Once we got to Sainsburys car park, again she wanted to run off and in the opposite direction to the store. This time I stopped and got her to give me a hug and calm down and I encouraged her to hold my hand but walk on the curb on the edge of the paths. This appeared to work and she nicely held my hand all the way to nearly the store doors. In her mind she was holding my hand for balance but I achieved what I wanted a calm and controlled child who wasn’t trying to run off or throw herself on the floor.

As we got to the doors Bella stopped dead in her tracks. She had noticed three girls sat on the floor just off to the side of the store doors. I thought she had stopped ready to run off to them instead she was fancinated by them. Turns out they were practicing a dance routine. I stood with Bella and we watched the girls dance together. When Bella was done watching we went into the store. This was when things went completely pear shaped. Everytime I tried to hold her hand she would pull away screaming and throw herself on the ground, but if I let her walk by herself she just ran off and refused to listen. In the end I had to carry her. She was past the point of calming and listening to reason.

When we had found the nappies I asked her if she wanted to carry them. Bella tried but because of the size of the pack she struggled, ended up tripping over it which obviously frustrated and upset her. So I now had 3 balloons in a bag, a large pack of nappies and an uncooperative toddler. She screamed the who way to the tills, throwing herself on the ground continuously because I was holding her hand, which was getting in the way of other shoppers. Yes, not a smart move trying to get everything done in one go with a loose toddler but usually she is cooperative and well behaved. She threw herself on the ground and cried at the tills but I knew she wasn’t hurt so I let her get it out of her system.

The walk to the car went pretty well. There are those little metal walls around the car park so Bella was walking along holding on to them and me. She was quite happy to do that and held my hand nicely as we walked across the carpark. However when we got to the car she stood by her door like normal as I unlocked the car. I have to unlock the passengers door with the key and then reach in and use the rear passengers handle on the inside to unlock the door. Bella waited nicely by the car until I was putting the balloons in the back seat and then she ran off, thankfully along the pavement, but disappeared around the corner past the toilets. I shouted after her as I threw the nappies in the backseat and grabbed the car keys to run after her.

Thankfully she was just hiding round the corner and hadn’t run any further, into the road or down to the high street. I shouted, I was angry, scared, upset. And all Bella did was giggle. I told her off for running away and scaring me. Telling her that she could get lost or someone could take her and we’d never see her again. However Bella continued to giggle as if she’d just played a really funny trick. When she was in the car she seemed to realise she’d done wrong. She started to cry and the whole way home kept saying “sorry” When we got home and got out of the car she said sorry again. I’d told her because she’d run off and how dangerous it was she wasn’t allowed any TV until after lunch and a bath. This obviously upset her. She kept saying sorry but I told her she needed to show me she was sorry with a hug and a kiss. Eventually she was ready to say and show me she was sorry and was far more cheerful, the little girl I know and love.

I’m glad she decided to turn it around as we had her friend Sophie’s birthday today and her party. I didn’t want to say we couldn’t go because of Bella’s behaviour. After lunch I gave Bella a bath and then her and Daly went downstairs to watch Paw Patrol as she was now allowed to watch TV. I jumped in the shower and had some quick me time before getting ready for the party.

Luckily Bella had already wrapped Sophie’s present and written her card so we didn’t need to rush to get ready.

Before we went to the party we went to Food Warehouse so Daly could pick up some bits for work. We bumped into our friends and stopped and had a chat before we decided to have a look round Home Bargains. Daly took Bella round the store as I was on the hunt for pear drops. He decided he’d trying some weight lifting with Bella in between tickle fights. Once we’d finished we headed off to the party.

Bella and Sophie’s relationship is lovely. Bella was a bit unsure when we turned up to the party. There were a few children for her to play with but Bella stuck by my side for the first half an hour. She sat on a little ride on car but she really wanted to go on the swing. Sadly the swing wasn’t able to be used so I had to keep chasing Bella and sending her back to the little car. Sophie was happily playing on the slide while we waited for the final person to turn up to her party. Once she had arrived we were all allowed in the party room.

Sophie’s mum had arranged a few toys for the children. They had cars and a cars map which all the children started playing with. There was also a couple of prams and some Paw Patrol toys. Bella and Sophie happily sat playing with the Paw Patrol toys.

Then it was time for a few presents. Our friend Karla had bought Sophie a Seahorse costume. As soon as she had unwrapped it, she wanted to put it on. She loved running around as a little shiny blue seahorse.

Then Bella gave Sophie her present. We had got Sophie some bits for her dolls to play with. We had got a changing mat with bits, and a feeding set. Of course Sophie wanted a baby so she could play. It was very sweet Bella and Sophie sat on the floor with their babies helping each other change nappies and taking it in turn to feed their babies.

It was time for some nibbles. First up the birthday girl and then the rest of the children. There were veg, cakes, sandwiches, pizza and drinks. Sophie and Bella sat on the floor happily munching.

Once all the children had finished eating, or at least didn’t look interested anymore and everyone was present we did the cake. Sophie sat on her grandads lap while we all sang Happy Birthday and Sophie blew out the candles.

We all had a bit of cake and then the children went back to playing outside in the garden. Taking nice turns on the slide and Bella was having great fun on a scooter. I’d been looking at them in Smyths the other day debating if to get Bella one. Seeing how much she enjoyed it today we might have to get one.

Sadly we had to leave as it was getting dark and we had to walk home to Daly’s parents. Daly’s dad was giving us a lift home as Daly has the car when he’s on nights. We said goodbye to everyone including a lovely hug between Bella and Sophie and then we set off walking. Bella walked much better this evening, holding my hand or walking nicely next to the pram just a shame she couldn’t do it earlier in the day.

We had a nice evening at Grandma and Grandads, trying Grandmas cupcakes she had made and playing with Grandad. I enjoyed a nice cup of tea and chatting before getting Bella ready in her PJs to go to bed as soon as we got home.

I feel far more accomplished today. It’s nice that we’ve had things to do and actually done them.

Night all and let’s see what adventure tomorrow holds for us

Love CiCi x

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